20 Things

The rules: 1. On a blog post, fill out 20 things that most people didn't know about you. 2. On the same post, be sure to include the rules, and a link back to the blog that tagged you 3. Tag the people you'd like to know 20 new things about.

1. I hide my loneliness and depression with humor and a smiley face.
2. I've never been kiss
3. I didn't read through the Twilight series just for the sex in Breaking Dawn (unrevised version), I did it because I liked the story line
4.Team Edward: Emotional connection before physical connection
5. I sleep in fetal position
6. The urge for me to get fucked by a guy is getting stronger and I hope, even though I say I'm pro-prostitution/pro-sluttish, it doesn't get to the point where I'll go to a dark alley with my pants down and a rainbow neon enter me sign on my asshole while blindfolded
7. Best days in the world would be cuddling naked my head rested over his chest letting his heart beat sooth me while watching rain drops fall on the windowpane on a rainy day
8. Scared I'll never publicly acknowledge these feelings and will never be able to get out of Mariah Carey's house-size closet
9. I'm in strong like with a Toxas
10. I embrace death rather than fear it or try to prolong my life
11. When I go to an out of state university, I'll be the person I always wanted, outgoing, smart, witty, gay (publicly)
12. On my bucket list: Give my dorm/apartment/fraternity roommate a mind blowing blow-job within the first weeks of the semester
13. The key to getting me to do anything is getting me drunk and giving me a Hershey Cookie and Cream chocolate bar
14. I eat my own cum
15. I go to the gym not only to get fit but to look at the sexy (and I do mean sexy) guys
16. When I like a guy or thinks he's extremely sexy i try to look away every time i see him or look down when I'm talking to him
17. I love/hate my job
18. The reason why I don't want to go to an in-state college is not because I don't like Florida so I can start a new life
19. I really do hate my mother
20. I wouldn't want to go to Pride week with friends because I think i would get a boner 24/7

Unconnected

Hey guys,

Sorry I haven't made a blog in forever....the exageration is needed there....but my internet is off and I have no other way of signing online and making a blog post without people noticing me on here. I just wanted to let you know that yes I'm still breathing.
I feel a little bold today, that's why I signed in today and downloading gay porn vids (lol ;] I'm getting bored of the ones I have at home). And I'm listening to the audio of a vintige film called Inch-by-Inch, if I wanted to be crazy I would of put the video screen up (but I'm not).
I missed you guys so much and I miss writing and reading everyone's blog. I don't know when will be the next time I'll log in (maybe when I'm feeling bold again) but know that when I do get my internet reconnected I will put in the effort to read all the posts made by those that I follow and then some.

P.S.: I'm downloading the vid on campus. i wonder if some guy behind me can see me having to readjust myself from time to time. And I'm 17 now!!!!!!!!!!!

Wide Open

Today I went to the Optometrist (eye doctor) and got an eye examination. My eyes are dilated and it sucks donkey balls juice. Everything is blurrier and foggier and I couldn't walk out in the sun with my eyes open. I want to sleep it off but I can't. Oh well. And if your wondering yes I do need glasses and I just found out I have astigmatism. I'm happy about that. lol I like knowing I have dysfunctions. So far it's scoliosis and now astigmatism :]

P.S.: I saw the first episode of True Blood and I'm a fan. I like the story line so far and the wild sex the vampire had with the mortal lady tied to the ceiling was hot. Would loved to be sexed up like she was. First Twilight now True Blood. I think I have a vampire/ biting fetish.

Man in Uniform

You guys I'm so f-ing excited! I got a job. I'm working at a fast food restaurant, making minimum wage, which is cool with me because I'm not picky and I love the restaurant. I don't know what I'm going to do with the money. I don't want to spend it all at once on something that's unimportant but I know myself. As soon as I get money on my hands that belongs only to me my mind goes blank and I just go on a spending spree. What I hope I do with the money is put some in the bank, buy clothes for school (the new school has no uniform policy), and try to get a gym membership. I want to get somewhere close to fit before school starts. I'm a working man :].
I'm also lusting for the manager. I think it was when he bent down to pick up a box and his pants pressed against his butt that I lost focus for a second on what was going on. I like guys with thick muscular butts especially when they are bent over. He also has a muscle body. I can honestly say while he was talking during most the paper work I stared at his muscular forearms and chest. The only thing bad about him (well not bad if it still works in my favor) is he's married. I saw the ring on his finger and I was screaming "Nooooo" in my head. I'm going to love working with him ;]. Gosh I'm really fantasy struck, not just for the body but for the personality too. He's also funny (well tries to be), friendly, and nice. Damn, I can't stop thinking about what could happen if it was only me and him in the restaurant close to closing time and he asks me to go into his office while he's sitting on his chair, legs spread open, and his friend out the hole telling me to come closer.
I'm not a home wrecker by the way. I strongly disapprove of infidelity/adultery. If you find the need to cheat on your other than you really don't need to be in a relationship with that person or marriage is not the best way to express your love for each other. And if he tells me out of the blue "Damion...my wife and I made an agreement that its o.k to sleep with other people...<.< >.>....so what do you want to do now?" I'm going to jump on him and be submissive to him. (My friend is right, I am nasty, the good type).
xD I got a job!!!!!!!!!


P.S.: I want to say that Anonymous is so sweet and nice. It was surprising to see what you put as a comment. I hope theirs somebody in Florida, or more preferred Miami that will feel the same way. You, my manager, and my dad (for turning on the AC) put a big smile on my face today.

Naughty School Boy

Warning: Super long post

Well guys the school year is coming to a close and I'll be out of school starting Thursday. This school year has gone by fast and, even though it sucked royally, I'll miss it. A lot of things have happened this year.
Some of my friends from middle school, who went to different schools for Freshman year, transferred to my school. I liked having them their with me. They added more laughs to my life and I might slightly like this one dude.
I got a mentor this year. It was by chance but I don't regret signing up to get a mentor. The guy is cool and gay! lol It took me till like the end of the office visits to ask him if he was (even though I could tell he was gay when he shuck my hand for the first time). I wanted to tell him I think I might be gay but couldn't, still not ready to say those words out loud. I tell him the only things I know about gay guys are from Will & Grace, and that I'm disappointed he isn't a Will. I love Will from the show; he is funny,sarcastic, and just cool all around. Back to the mentor, I noticed he has a rock hard nice ass through his tight pants. I even thought about us having sex and us doing some wild, mind blowing things. I perved on an old guy ;P (hot).
I've met new people and new friends. Even though she's a girl and way shorter than me, I love me some D.F. (it's so hard to say love but when I talk about her it comes out so easily) I guess its the fact that she's an Aquarius and I'm a Libra (true Libra) that we click so well. Or maybe its the fact that every time she calls my name or I hear her voice I have a big smile on my face. I'll miss her a lot. Um...not to contradict the fact that I like dude that's a friend/J but its easy for me to express affection for a girl than a guy, I'm used to compressing those feelings for a guy so its not obvious on my face.
I took office in my academy's club and was an epic failure at it. I'll just learn from my mistakes and maybe not be so ambitious as to want a title just to feel like I'm high in status or just because I want to do something positive doesn't mean it will happen. I won't miss it. I don't like people asking me "So what are you doing as our 'office title'?" I usually responded with a "They don't tell me anything" but what I really want to respond with is "Get the fuck out my face with that shit. You and these questions about what I'm doing is not even necessary. You disgust me, go away." (thinking it over again) Yep, not going to miss it one bit.
I didn't make it to competition this year :[. I even signed up for 2 college classes just to update what I know about accounting and learn something about marketing to prepare myself before I go and what happens after I've signed up for those classes. I don't make it to state. I could of unsigned myself because they didn't start for a while but didn't want to give up the college experience. (if your wondering I got an A in both of those courses :])
This is recent in the school year but I think this girl likes me. Weird, that usually doesn't happen. All I know is she's like that guy friend who pops out of no where and just hits you hard and walks away. Sometimes she hugs me but I'm looking at her like "oh hey, girl who hits me <.<>.>...your kind of violent :). That's kinky ;p." She's a friend of the newly titled bff. She tells me I should go to their church but I say "I'm busy", which we should all no I'm not.
Formspring should get its own paragraph. I've had fun looking at my bff and her cousin's Formsprings. A whole lot of drama has happened there and I've laughed my ass off. I don't like the fact that the bff felt ashamed and hurt that her cousins will pick dick, pussy, and sex over family but she says "Their dead to me, they should drop dead" (which i think is a little far, I hate all my brothers but I don't say "they should drop dead", just "they need to get out this house") Also, on formspring, I confessed my Freshman year crush to this girl who is friends with the bff. It was a thing I did on impulse and I regret it. After I press that button, bff and the girl was trying to figure out who it was. I think bff knows it is me but its something I know she wouldn't bring up. I like that about her.
Other than J there are 2 more guys that should be mentioned for the 2009-2010 school year. One is named K. He is in my spanish class. He was once in my Pre-Calculus class but they changed his schedule. He has a sexiness to him and his eyes are hypnotizing. I 'hate' it when he has his chair turned to me and his legs opened. I don't know if he does it to see if I'm lusting for him or something but I'll never show signs of it even though I do lust. He told me he was bleeding through his penis and I thought that was weird. I was scared that one day my penis (lol penis) would bleed too. He is sexy. The other guy is S. Now he is the ex of my close friend and has my science class. His sexiness is lost in his over confidence. Well he really isn't on my sexy list but for the mass amount of girls who think he is sexy I mentioned him. He kinda makes me feel weird when he stands by me not the butterflies but "why are you so close to me" feeling.
I had an horrible itching moment during winter. It was always at the wrong moment that I felt itchy. It was killing me because it wouldn't go away. The itch came twice and I had to ask to use the bathroom and hoped it went away before I went back to class. But I thought it was bed bugs and I must of guessed right. I cleaned all of my clothes, cleaned my room from head to toe, vacuumed both sides of my bed, and cleaned and changed my sheets.
Um. theirs L. He's also in my spanish class. I think he's gay and I think he knows he's gay but denies it. He has the hand flicks and the girl "oh no you didn't" perfectly. Since I'm saying who I think is gay out of the people I know I need to mention M and G. M is overweight like me but his man boobs aren't as sexy as mines. lol I'm not really conceded. I think he's gay because it seems obvious, he's jolly jolly (twice the jolly), bouncy (mind you he has man boobs), and his "oh no you didn't" is mastered perfectly. G is a close friend and a laughing buddy. We talk about the most random things and he's a cool person. My assumption of him being gay started in middle school where I met him. Now his hand flicks, Mariah Carey high octave voice impression, "oh no you didn't" is mastered so well, he should write "How to make being gay obvious for Dummies" books. I mean come on who knows so much about Prince, ick. I love Beyonce but I still don't know much about her, just that I want her to have my babies. But it's whatever. If he or they don't want to say anything about it I totally understand. But what I don't understand is how people who make it obvious that their gay say they aren't. I mean come on people have categorized you as gay and they seem not to care. Would verifying making their assumptions be a bad thing?
Oh this needs to be mentioned. I hate it when people have sex in the stairway and they aren't clean. I don't care if you go raw or not (I would prefer raw for me) but please if you know your pussy and balls stink don't have sex or at least wash first. Come on, I smelt tuna, salmon, catfish, etc. And what's funny about the whole thing is the girls who smell like the catch of the day are the ones who complain that the stairways and the girls who were sexing it up smell bad.
I'm changing schools starting next school year. I don't think its hard to say goodbye because its never really goodbye its just hard to say I'll miss you. I will be missing my friends as I shorten the 4 years together in high school to 2 years. But where one door closes another one opens. I hope I'll make friends at the new school. I know 3 girls that are going to the same school as me so I won't be lonely. Me and 2 out of the 3 girls will be good buddies. We talk about the same things and interests are close enough to maintain the friendship. The high school were going to is different from a lot of schools in the country. All I know is I'm ready to go to Burger King for lunch on Mondays and Wednesdays, Chinese Food on Fridays, All you can buffets on Thursdays, and who knows on Tuesday. My friends think of it as selfishness for me to leave but I see it as a better opportunity and the better food is just a bonus.
The Bff/D doesn't like me changing schools. She resents it. She says she'll miss me and I'll miss her too but I don' look back, I move forward. What I don't get is why she starting to change (unconsciously) being more distant and more cold towards me? If its to make me stay then its not working. I'm not a sucker for cold hearted people, though I would like to be one. I say enjoy the time while we still have it and don't throw it away because its coming to an unexpected end.
Reading wise, I read the twilight series. I'm on team Edward all the way. I love his way of expressing his undying (no pun intended) love for Bella. I don't think Robert Patterson is sexy if your wondering. Skinny is not that sexy in my book. I really don't like the ending, there should of been a fight over their daughter. And I wished that the book I read had the descriptive sex with Edward and Bella. I read a couple of Urban Novels written by one of my favorite author. I read G-Spot, Thong on Fire, and Hittin' the Bricks. I know I know, vagina are icky but I love the story line and the sex. I would recommend reading them even if you don't like the sex in it. And last but not least I read the Tragedy of Julius Caesar. Now that book was amazing (even though their wasn't sex). I'm liking Shakespeare's work. I've read Macbeth and I know of Romeo and Juliet. That man has a way of putting words together that makes you get involved in his plays.
Academically, this is my best year so far. I haven't got a C D or F on my report card. (Maybe I'm speaking to early). Grade books closed and I know that I'll be getting 4 A's and 2 B's. For Finals I have 3 A's, 1 B, I don't know for science (i cheated my heart out on that test and I hope I get something good pls C or higher), and for science she hasn't put the grade in but I have an B on the objective exam and I don't know for the essay (which i cheated on...yay cheating :]).
I don't know what else to put (and I'm thinking your hoping their isn't more lol) That's my whole school year in one post.

P.S.: To Anonymous. I live in Florida.

Lost for Words

Hey guys, sorry for not posting anything for about a month. I wish I could say that I've been extremely busy or something like that but that isn't true. I just don't have anything to say, and the few times that I do want to post something a combination of laziness and a low attention span stops me from writing. Please don't take it as me not caring, I care about this blog world a lot. I like reading people's ideas, hobbies, rants, comments, etc. And thanks for the comments, till today I didn't know I had any. Well this is just to let you guys know that I'm still alive and grateful towards the people that take the time to read my blog. Also would love it if more people subscribed.

Let's talk about relationships. I've never been in one, or one with someone my age. No that doesn't mean I'm going got with a sugar daddy/dominate bear/dilf (I'd probably want to try a relationship like that though, just to see what it feels like). The only "relationships" I've been in were when I was really little like about 4 or 5, before I started Pre-K. She was older, probably 18-20 and she loved to play with me. She'd call me boyfriend, kiss me on the cheeks, play with me, and talk with me. The other relationship was when I was in the 1st grade. I was in love with my teacher. She was beautiful, smart, gentle, sweet, and had something about her that made me serenade her during recess and try to have sophisticated conversations. I thought we were meant to be together forever, but I guess I was the only one that thought so. She got married the next school year and I was heart broken. I went to the party her class was having for her birthday and I saw her fiancee and the ring on her finger. I hope I created tension in the atmosphere because I was giving the guy bad eye glances. But in the end, I accepted the fact that I was 7 and she was 24+, so I congratulated them and took a slice of the coconut cake. (The coconut cake was hurting the roof of my mouth and till this day I hate coconut anything. It's kind of funny now that I think about it; my pain were her pleasures.)
Well other then those 2, I never had the courage to ask anyone out. Most kids were pairing off quick in elementary and I kind of felt like the outsider, I blame my balls for not dropping back then. I still don't get how girls went from being one of the guys to someone to compete for. I really must of been a late bloomer because I'd just messed with them until middle school, were changes were showing. Most of the boys were jealous because I knew and talked to most of the girls in class but it was me treating them like an everyday person then someone with itty bitty titties. In middle school people started asking if I was gay because I didn't have a girlfriend/ever had a girlfriend/showed interest in wanting a girlfriend. And now in high school I'm definitely not showing interest in wanting a girlfriend.
Now let talk guys in relationship. I've wanted a boyfriend or just a guy friend to be really close too for a while. I would want to be as close as possible while making it seem like best friends in public eye. I've been thinking about being with a guy more often and because I know there is a shallow side to me I've made a dream guy preference
-Must be older or my age minimum (and look older)
-Must be taller or equal height
-Must be muscle toned, a nice bulge of muscles
-Clean and Cut
-Deep Voice
-Seductive Eyes
-Nice lips
-Great smile
-Freak+++
But because I try to block out the shallowness in me I've made a real guy preference
-Funny
-Someone I can keep conversations going with
-Smart
-Open minded
-Someone I could open up to
-Someone who can fill the incomplete side of me
-Freak+++ (I like freaky people :] ).
Noticed the difference.
I try not to make idea relationships scenarios in my head because I wouldn't want to make expectations for anyone and I would want our journey to be a new experience that's real rather than to say "yeah I got a boyfriend too."

That was kind of the conclusion to the relationship rant. Don't know if that was a good way to end it Tell me about your relationships or opinions of them. Is it more about the physical appeal or mental/emotional appeal.

P.S.: To the anonymous commenter. Thanks for the high interest in wanting me to post something and I hope I filled your needs with an amazing mind blowing "blog post".
To wayner. Yeah there isn't much for me to confess about myself I'm pretty dull, just opinionated. That's why I changed the name of the blog. What do you think of it?
To everyone. Thanks for reading and hope to see feedback or something.

A Younger Me

Today, my mom handed me pictures of a younger me. When I looked at the photos, I saw someone whose eyes are round with innocence, nose tender and petite, lips in need of nourishment, face not shaped by puberty, cheeks squeezable, and skin airbrushed to a smooth soft texture. That child was nice and happy, always eager to meet someone new and make a new friends. He was outspoken at most times but with the ability to be quite when needed. He was loved. He was the type of person that everyone wanted to compare themselves to because his stance, his demeanor, was something to admire and want. His smile was genuine and inviting. He wasn't insecure around others, and felt no need to make comparisons but be happy with what he had because that was all he had. His mind was pure and only saw things for what they were, everything was simple and everything was easy to understand. He knew what he was and was proud because he hadn't felt harsh judgment and cruel words due to others insecurities. His favorite color was blue which showed on his clothes. He had a plan for the future, to be rich, to love another, and have a family of his own.

That's what appeared on that photo, which can only say so much. That photo showed history not reality.

Now, that kid grew up. He grew up into someone who barely cared for others (except friends :) ) opinions, frustrations, and expressions. Could care less to make an introduction of himself because would not be interested in the people he meet. His smile grew crooked and a way to tell people "keep it moving". He became angry and sad. His heart held pain and had no room for love. He likes the rain, the sound of only the droplets falling, splashing in a steady rhythm and cool wind caressing his face as he enjoyed the peaceful, lonely surrounding. He laughed at others pain and enjoyed the bitter taste of it. Blue changed into black. He told the world fuck you for the lies that was fed at a young age; and wished that it would have told him the truth from the beginning. His plan to become rich is motivated by greed than, a once, ambition. To love another became to love 'one'-other, to give himself to that one person, every smile and every tear would be shared with that one person and everyone one else would be kept out. His perfect family became a dream of itself, he couldn't share the joy of having children with his significant other because the woman of his dream is changing to the man of his life. The animalistic urge for a woman's gentle touch, sweet scent, high intoxicating voice was a mirage and actually was the desire for a man's rough hands to roam his body, a man's musk to drown him in perfume, and deep voice to make him feel safe. His future days would be spent not raising 3 (my fav. #) children but resting his head on his lovers muscular chest, lips enjoying the salty taste of the other persons skin, and their legs entwined holding on to each other.

Would the younger me like who he became? Would he have expected the changes that came with him in the future? Would he wished time stayed still and he lived forever in the happy world he knows?

My head tells me that I should be happy with who I am now and not try to devolve myself to a gullible minor; but my heart begs to be that little kid again, and ignorant to the brutal world he really lives in.

(I need to write more happy stuff because all of this is really getting to me)

How Pathetic

So its a Sunday afternoon and I'm basically bored out of my mind. All I've done today were watch videos on the computer, sleep, watch tv, sleep, eat, watch an anime video, watch a movie, sleep, watch Glee videos on YouTube, walk around the house, and wash my clothes (i'm doing this now). I was suppose to work on my project for school (i have 4 to do) but I don't like projects and it would've made my day even more boring. I bet my life would be more interesting if I was a cum hunger teen slut on the internet and gay area in my city. Gosh, I've imagined so many things I would've been doing and already done. But that isn't my life. So when I'm out of my mind bored I like to sing parts of a song. Today's song is "Don't Stop Believin' " by Journey. I try to use my American Idol voice when I say:

"Just a small time girl, livin' in a lonely world

She took a midnight train goin' anywhere
Just a city boy, born and raised in south Detroit
He took a midnight train goin' anywhere"

I try to make it look and sound as manly as possible but yeah really doesn't work out that way. My old song used to be "Monster" by Lady Gaga.

I've been thinking about things to blog about but the words never come out the way I want them to. One, in particular, is my habit at looking at my guy friend. He isn't the sexiest, funniest, smartest, sociable, guy in the world but iGuess that's why i like looking at him. I don't like him as anything more than a friend I just like things about him that make him him and his curly hair that makes him look Jewish.

I've been reading Andy's blog. I started reading it Thursday iThink. And I've read all of his posts. I mention this because I'm happy he isn't deleting his blog and I needed a closer for this post.

My First Gay Dream

In the dream i was in a party in my house. i was pushing my way towards my room through the crowded living room. When i went inside i saw my dad fucking my friend from school. I didn't have a problem with it (idk y) and was just enjoying my dad giving the skinny dude deep long strokes in the ass. I was just about to leave when my dad demanded that i get my ass eatin' out by the dude. Next thing I know i'm head down ass out the dudes tonguing my hole in dog position and my dad is mounting him from the back fucking him even rougher. At first it was a couple of quick lips but my dad wasn't having that he wanted me to get the full experience. So to get the guy to do what he wanted he fucked him harder holding tighter to his small waist and hitting his ass with heavy force. Now the guys giving it to me good. He's stroking the tongue hard now and digging it deep in my ass. If felt so fucking good. I couldn't control my breathing anymore, i was pushing my ass more into his mouth, and i was holding onto the sheets for dear life mouth open eyes closed toes curled. I started flexing my hole while he was still sliding his tongue in my ass and I couldn't take it anymore i had to bury his face completely in it. He matched my force with the force of his tongue that i stopped breathing my sides started hurting from me shaking so hard but the pain added more to the pleasure that I loved it too. This was too much for me and I wanted more. I pushed my ass a little further burying him nose deep in it, squeezing my cheeks against his face. He pulled out with a trail of saliva connecting my hole with his mouth and started chewing on my ass and blowing on my hole. That took it to another level. By now the bed sheet is drenched in sweat and torn in a few areas from me biting on it. My hole is pulsing begging him to feed his tongue in it. He one-up the demand for the tongue by using his fingers instead. He started with a slow tempo easing it in and out and was pushing his middle finger fast in a spiral motion. Then when his finger was at the tip, on its way back in, i squeezed my hole around his finger like a piper and controlled how much he could slid in. When he got his whole length into me he pressed his thumb against my ass. I was moaning crazy like begging him not to stop. Just as he was about to ease his index finger in there I woke up :( I tried my hardest to go back to sleep but it wouldnt work. I hate it when your in middle of a good dream and for some reason the body decides to wake up. Has any body had a moment like that?

P.S.: What's another word for ass and hole, i tried switching the words as much as possible but still feel like i reused them too much

Introduction

To be honest, I started this blog to write down how I felt, say things that go unheard, and express the side of me that I'm afraid to know (possibly being gay or bi). If you read this than I like you already and I will try to write as much interesting things as possible. Thanks for listening <3.

My real name isn't Damion, I like to think of him as an alter ego. iGuess I would describe him as everything I ever expected from myself but could never accomplish. He isn't afraid to say he's different from most guys, that he's bi (or gay, same thing). Here is his description:

• Black
  
• 5'8
  
• Let's say unfit body (I usually say fat)(wudn't say chubby, its the nicer way to say fat)
  
• Black (VERY coiled) Hair
• Dark Brown Eyes
• Wide-ish nose
• Thick full lips
• etc.

I (Damion) am 16, and in the 10th grade. I like to think of myself as the nerdy, retarded, funny, reserved, talkative, quiet guy. I really don't know were I'm going with this because I'm like really tired, it's 1:11 am :O but just know that I like writing because it's a better way for me to say the things I want people hear.I hope to meet new interesting people that can open my eyes more to being gay or to life in general. Hope I get followers and I'll be sure to make the next post as interesting as possible.